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Being
Dumped, just plain sucks!
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by: Dorothy
Lafrinere
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Today
I received a question from a guy. Here is what he
said:
"Posted by Anonymous
The last woman I was involved with was quite full
of herself.
So then why did she dump me?"
And my answer to him was this... "Posted by
Dorothy
Hey there, sorry to hear about your being dumped.
Not knowing either of you, it is really hard to
answer that question. There are many reasons for
people walking away from a relationship. It could
have plain worn out. Also they could have found
someone else. Either way, it sucks, and you have
to deal with the pain, and learn to get on with
your life. It is a challenge, but it does make you
aware, of what being human is all about. There is
a saying; "If it doesn`t kill you. it will
only make you stronger." Also I am a firm
believer in: " Things do happen for a
reason." Hang in there, things will get
better, if you let them. Take Care and thank you
for sharing that with me."
"Being Dumped" really is one of the
worst experiences, short of death that we, as
humans are faced with in our lives. They say that,
death of a loved one is easier to learn to live
with, than a break-up , "Being Dumped"
or rejection.
All of the above, tell us that we are unacceptable
to someone. We immediatley turn it into ourselves
and that's when the self-blame seed is sown.
Through self-blame we begin to feel shame. Shame
is so painful, that no one talks about it or even
wants to think about it. Shame is the least
identified emotion we as humans deal with, because
we are ashamed of our shame. Shame, is yet another
negative emotion, that captures and imprisons us
in a pit of hell. It pulls us into a life of
silence and inactivity, lying and hiding our true
fears. When we are rejected in any situation, it
is a true hit to our self-esteem. If we are weak
in that area, then our fall is going to be very
hard. If we are strong in that area, we will
quickly become weak. I wrote this in a recent blog:
"When we first fall in love; What is that
saying, "Love is Blind"? Ha! Now that's
funny, because it really is blind. We trust so
instantly and genuinely that we potentially set
ourselves up for the biggest fall in our lives.
Why is that? Is it because we are so driven by
nature to want to trust someone? Or is trusting
someone just a happier, easier, way of life."
So there it is, we as humans, live to love and
want to be loved. We are blinded by the romance of
the word ~ LOVE~. We are made happy by the
word~LOVE~, but we are also hurt by the word
~LOVE~. So why do we continually set ourselves up?
We are gambling, and we do not even know it. Or,
is life simply just that, a gamble? The bottom
line is, no one wants to get "DUMPED",
because it is not in our nature to know how to
accept it. How many of you have been,
"DUMPED" and just knew that your life
had ended? You just knew that you will never see
anything the same again. Well, you were partly
correct there. It is like any other change in our
lives. Things will be different than we are use
to. Your life has definitely not ended. Yes, your
partnership has ended with a person, and maybe it
was not expected, but nor are hurricanes or wars.
We deal with it all, we have to. We chose to
survive. Think of it as starting a new life.
Newness is positive and healthy. Look at things
differently, and embrace all that newness. Do not
fear it. "BEING DUMPED", is just another
chapter in your book of life. If you had no
chapters, think how dull your book would be. Now,
you can open your self to another chapter, and
believe me, there are many. If you spend the rest
of your life wondering all the "WHY`S",
just think, you have wasted even more of your
precious time on something that has chosen another
road. As for the fact that a person is, full of
themselves, that really has nothing to do with the
"Why's" of "Being Dumped".
Even the most confident people close doors on
relationships. They in fact, have more courage to
do so than a person of less confidence, or being
less full of themselves, so to speak. Who Knows?
All we know is that the decision has been made and
you as a person, with intelligence, must turn the
page. Getting stuck in that feeling just makes
therapists rich. (wink) Life offers many, many
humps and bumps. We trip and fall, over and over
again. The trick is to get real good at picking
yourself up and dusting off the old dirt. This is
life. I told my daughter, when she was struck by
her first cupids arrow, "If you are going to
get emotionally involved, be prepared to get
emotionally uninvolved." It's life! One very
important thing we must remember; when we are at
the bottom and we feel we are worthless and will
never ever TRUST again, it's is a nothing more
than a human emotion. We know it as doubt. We can
over come doubt very easily. Look in the mirror,
and tell yourself, that you are UNIQUE, and you
are going to make happiness your goal. You must
risk all the falls to reach that goal. Letting
yourself believe that you are deserving of another
relationship is truly a risk, again another
gamble. But what is life without a little risk? We
have the power to overcome our negative self. We
just need to DO IT!
"Self doubt is not an option!
Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good
we often might gain by fearing attempt."
Shakespear
Dorothy
http://www.womensselfesteem.com
http://www.justblogme.com/dorothy
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com
This article is free for republishing |
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